Eulogy (Eagle Elite #9) by Rachel Van Dyken

36268155._SY475_All is lost.
All.
I don’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore.
My thoughts are filled with hatred and dripping with rage.
I’ve lost my soul.
She took it to the depths of Hell with her and haunts me with images of what could have been.
Sixty lives are mine to take.
Sixty lives stand in the way of my vengeance.
Sixty lives plus one more.
Mine.
When the last drop of blood falls — mine will be spilled.
Only one person stands in the way.
She doesn’t realize I’ll kill her too.
I don’t own a heart.
And even if I did — I wouldn’t fall prey to its lies again.
I am Chase Abandonato.
Heir to a legacy of betrayal.
And I will kill them all.
Even if it means pointing the gun at myself.
A life for a life.
A soul for a soul.
Now I lay me down to sleep… I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
Blood in. No out.

MY REVIEW

5 Chase stars

I was so unsure about reading Eulogy when Mil died in the previous book. I’d read Mil and Chase’s story a long time ago, and I wasn’t ready to witness Chase fall in love with another woman. But RVD wrote his second chance so well, magnificent. Luciana is Chase’s soulmate. His best friend. Something Mil never was.

Chase, the funny one, has been my favorite. But after losing Mil, he’s different. Betrayed by the person he was married to, he has been left broken. No soul. Nothing. His mission is to kill the De Lange bloodline…before he ends his own suffering. Then a woman appears on his doorstep. She wears headbands, pearls, and red lipstick. She’s different from Mil. And she’s the new family lawyer.

“I used to be the funny one.” He grabbed my hand and examined it like he was looking for scratches. I let him, too exhausted and petrified to move away. “I know it’s hard to believe, trust me. Everything was a joke. Everything was funny. Life itself was funny. The darkness always attacked, but I never let it in. I was stronger than the darkness. I laughed in its face. But you can only taunt for so long before it finds a chink in your armor, and then, it consumes you, and you let it because it feels better than the pain.”
I turned to him. “Darkness always feels better. It forces you to ignore the light.” His smile was sad. “There is no light, Luc. Not anymore.”

Luciana doesn’t know what she’s getting into when she signs the papers and agrees to work for The Family. She’s never really known violence until her first day at Chase when they’re attacked, and she needs to hide in the pantry for her safety. And now she has to live in the same house as the man who answers with his gun. A man who’s so broken he cares not for anyone.

I love Luc. She was so very different from Mil; thank god. She made Chase feel needed and brought light into his life when all he ever saw was darkness. I loved that she was fierce and stood up for herself when Chase went too far. She showed this broken man what it really felt like to be loved and to love. But how do you save a man who’s already dead?

Her easy trusting smiles, even though I’d threatened her and mistreated her, and finally, the way she’d thrown herself into eating the pancakes like she’d never had real food before. I wasn’t insecure in anything.
Except cooking.
Because I’d lived with someone who rarely ate.
Always too busy.
Always on the run.
Always leaving food on the plate.
I would never tell Luc that my anger matched my panic when she’d picked up the plate and examined it. I wasn’t even aware it was a test until she passed with flying colors and devoured the whole thing in front of me. I half expected her to start eating the plate. With each bite, my heart cracked. And I hated that my first thought was
So that is what it’s like… to give something and have someone actually take it without reservation.
So that was what it felt like.

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